Troubles
by Dr34mer
Summary: Howl is worried that a baby would be a burden but Sophie still wants one. What happens when she thinks Howl doesn't want a baby because of her? what happens when she uses magic to change herself for him? And how will Howl feel about her now...?
1. Chapter 1

This is as soon as the movie is over…

Disclaimer: unfortunately I don't own any of Mayazaki's masterpieces… but I do own this story! Ha, Mayazaki! This is one thing you _don't_ have!

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Sophie gasped, pulling her lips apart from Howl's. "I… I'm sorry!" she said, turning away as her cheeks stained crimson. "I didn't mean to do that!" Sophie tried to reassure him.

Howl smiled wryly at her. She looked so cute when she was nervous. He ran a few locks of her now silver hair through his fingers, savouring the scent. "I know you didn't…" his soft voice rang through her ears. He leaned his head closer to her neck but before he could even touch her…

"Help!" came a cry from downstairs. "Sophie! I need more wood or my flame'll go out! Quick!"

Sophie turned too quickly in alarm and accidentally hit Howl on the nose. "Oh! I'm sorry! But I really have to make sure Calcifer doesn't die out!" she ran out and soon as she could, leaving the wizard to struggle with the minor injury.

"She wants me so bad," he said over-confidently after making sure he wasn't bleeding. He retraced Sophie's footsteps downstairs. He sat at the top of the stairs and watched as she handed a small log to Calcifer and smiled as he grabbed it hungrily.

Howl sighed deeply, longing to lay his hands on her again. So he thought that's exactly what he'd do; Howl stood and walked over to Sophie, who didn't really take much notice at that moment.

"Sophie," he began as he approached her.

"Yes, Howl?" she turned to him, standing up straight.

He stopped in front of her and looked down into her eyes. He brought his hand up to stroke her soft hair and slid the other around her waist, pulling her closer to him. Sophie gasped as he forced their lips closer and closer.

"Hey! Break it up!" Calcifer said, before their lips could come in contact.

"Howl…!" Sophie struggled out of his grip but he proved much stronger than him.

The door flung open. Howl was caught off guard and Sophie took this opportunity to jump out of his arms – which annoyed him a lot. "What's for supper, Sophie?" Markl asked, running in with the dog by his side.

"Supper?" she said, flustered. "Oh! It completely slipped my mind! I'll get on it right away!" she ran away to rummage for whatever food she could find.

Howl grunted, mentally cursing Markl for interrupting.

"Master Howl," said Calcifer. "Don't you think you're going a _tiny_ bit too fast for Sophie?"

"And what makes you say that?"

"How about the fact that she wanted you to stop trying to kiss her?"

Howl sneered. He folded his arms and had a really arrogant look on his face. "She's just nervous. Give her time and she'll realise how stupid it was to resist me…" then he just stood there and sighed with the same expression still plastered on his face.

Calcifer waited in silence before looking up at his master. "… So, um… when you said 'give her time', how much time did you have in mind?"

Howl waited a second longer. "… I think that's more than enough time, don't you?" he glided off to Sophie, who was stressing about what everyone would like. He lay a hand on her shoulder and felt her shudder in fear under his touch. "What's the matter? Are you scared of me?"

Sophie felt his breathe travel down her spine and fought against another shiver. "No, of course not." She walked away from him, pretending to go over to the bacon – which she had no intention of cooking.

"Then why do you keep running away from me?" he smiled wryly.

"I am _not_ running away! I'm… just busy…" she half lied, grabbing a loaf of bread to try and hide the truth. She _was_ scared; scared of what he might get up to.

"you don't have to worry, Sophie," he casually walked towards her, this time not attempting anything. "I won't do anything if you don't want me to. I just want you to feel comfortable around me."

She took a deep breath before continuing. "… it's not that I don't already feel comfortable around you, or that I don't want you to do anything with me. I'm just worried about… well… about the baby-"

"_BABY_?!" he choked then struggled to laugh. "no! no, babies are out of the question!" he tried to laugh it off. "no babies, Sophie," he stated, clearly.

She looked offended. "what's wrong with having a baby?!" she clenched her fists defiantly and stamped her foot.

Howl took a step back. "um… it's not that I don't want a baby with _you_, I just thought that, you know, it'd get in the way of our lives, that's all!"

"oh, so an innocent child is a _burden_ to you?!"

"no!" he found it very difficult to try and defend himself with all his words coming out wrong. "I mean, we don't have time!"

"you have time to go out flying around doing nothing important but no time to look after a small baby?!"

"stop twisting my words!"

she grunted angrily before storming off to her room and shouting. "you can cook your own supper tonight! Or don't you have _time_?!" she slammed the door shut.

Markl and Calcifer both stared at Howl, who stood dumbfounded. "I think she's upset," said the flame, just stating the obvious.

Howl hummed like he was surprised. "must be the raven hair she doesn't like…" he suggested, running a hand through his locks.

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yeah, that's the first chapter and I'm still debating with myself about what's going to happen later on but I promise it'll be good! Well… I hope it'll be good anyway!

Please review!!


	2. Chapter 2

8D Yayness! (My random comment for the day…)

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It was getting dark already, even though to Sophie, it felt like just fifteen minutes – when in fact it had been over three hours. She could hear nothing from outside of her room, not even Howl's constant complaining or the door bell.

_Why doesn't he want a baby?_ She asked herself. _I thought he'd be happy to have a child take after him… or is it that he wants a beautiful child? One that doesn't look like me? Would he want a child if I were more beautiful…?_

"Sophie? Are you okay?" Howl's voice swam through the door. "Can I come in, please?" he requested.

She sighed. Sophie didn't want him to come in, still slightly upset about earlier. _I can't blame him… it's not his fault I'm not attractive…_ she concluded, before allowing him in. she wouldn't face him, though, she just stared out of the window.

"Sophie… I'm really sorry if I upset you earlier. I guess I'm just not ready to be a father," he explained, hoping the sympathy act would get her back on his side. Howl stepped closer to her and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. He felt Sophie shiver again but she did not move away.

"Howl… it's not that I'm intending to have a child soon; I just thought that it could happen by accident and what could we do about it?"

"Oh, that's easy!" Howl grinned. "I know a great spell to get rid of babies-!"

"Howl!" Sophie screamed, swatting his hand away and staring at him in disgust. Howl looked incredibly confused; he'd thought that's what she wanted. "You _monster_! I never thought that even _you_ could be so heartless!"

A sharp slap struck Howl across the face as she stormed out of the room, leaving Howl to check for blood again before finally chasing after her. Why was it that he could never get through to her?

Sophie was rushing so much that she couldn't turn the dial for the door normally. Tears blurred her vision and her strength seemed to disappear, making it harder to grip. She finally managed to turn it to the colour red and opening the door.

"Sophie! Wait! I didn't mean what I said! It just sort of came out wrong!!" he called, chasing her out into the garden. Luckily she wasn't very fast so he caught up to her quickly. "Sophie!" he grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her towards him.

She struggled to get free, hitting his chest as hard as she could but was weak compared to him. "Get you hands off of me! You fiend!"

"I'm not letting go until you listen to me!" He kept a tight hold of her. It seemed like ages before she finally gave up and huffed at him. "That's better," he smiled.

She turned her head away from him, still angry.

"I'm sorry… I thought you meant you don't want to have a baby unprepared so I thought… well, you know, I'd get rid of it for you. I would never do it if you don't want me to."

"But you will if _you_ want? Howl, having a baby is supposed to be a blessing. Getting rid of it would just be murderous!"

Howl bowed his head, realising what she meant. Reluctantly, he released Sophie and dropped his arms to his side. "I didn't mean it, Sophie. It's like everything I say to you comes out wrong. I never meant to hurt you. I just want you to be happy so… if there's anything you want, just tell me."

Sophie finally looked up at him. He wasn't just saying it, this time he actually meant it. But doesn't Howl think she has everything she wants already? A wonderful home, a nice family, and a handsome and gentle lover who can give her anything she wants using his magic… That's it. "Magic…" she breathed.

"What?"

"I want you to teach me magic! I want to know how to do it!"

Howl stared at her for a while. Magic? What would she use it for? Why can't she just ask him for whatever it was she wanted? "What the hell are you going to use it for?"

Sophie sighed in a disappointed way. "I knew you'd never let me use magic-"

"No! O-of course I would! But what's the need? You could just ask me! Like I said-!"

"Well, you're not always around, are you?" she said. "You never used your magic to help me with the cleaning. All you care about is yourself! I wish you'd just be a little bit more considerate!" she turned away sharply and marched over to the lake where she sat down.

Howl could hear her hiccups loud and clear. He was about to walk over to comfort her when he heard her mutter. "Just leave me alone…!"

He felt his heart sink. She doesn't want him anymore. She doesn't even _need_ him anymore. Howl had never felt so worthless and unwanted before. He decided: if he was just going to be a burden to her, he might as well stay out of her way. So he returned to the castle without saying another word to her.

Sophie heard the door click closed. She turned towards it to see that Howl had left. _What've I done? How could I have been so horrible to him? I know it's not his fault…_ She cried harder into her hands, probably longer than she had in her room.

As Howl shut the door behind him, his entire body went limp and he fell back to back with it, now sitting on the floor. Markl leant over the banister and peered at him, looking slightly worried. "Sophie's not leaving you, is she? She still loves you, right?"

He didn't reply. The little boy didn't realise how his words stabbed him so painfully in the heart. Instead, Howl just concentrated on holding back his tears. Sophie didn't love him anymore – did she ever?

"Um, Markl," said Calcifer. "I think master Howl wants to be alone right now. Why not pass me another piece of wood?" he offered, stuffing his current one in his mouth before he could object.

Markl took one more quick glance at Howl and sighed before eventually running over to the pile of logs. He handed it to Calcifer who grabbed it hungrily before sucking on the bit of wood. Markl smiled at him until he saw the small flame's joyous face drop, stunned, causing the wood to fall out of his mouth. The boy quickly turned around to see several shadows creeping up onto the walls, swerving slowly and eerily around the furniture. Markl hated it when Howl did this – it reminded him of all the things he used to fear; some he still does.

"Master Howl!" Calcifer cried. "Master Howl, get a hold of yourself! She's just a girl!"

"_Just a girl_?" the wizard hissed from the bottom of the stairs. It scared both Markl and Calcifer. The deep, deadly voice seeping along with the dark shadows that had now fully overtaken the room. "_She's not 'just a girl'… she's my girl…_" he knew that what he was saying was selfish, but that's what he wants. He wanted Sophie to be his. His girl.

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I apologise, I'll try to update sooner next chapter. I thought I'd get more to the point in the next chapter, so please bare with me! And I know, I suck for making you wait!!

Please review…


	3. Chapter 3

I'm updating all my fics so late! Uber sorry!

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Sophie wiped away the last of her tears. It was really dark already and she'd decided she'd return to the castle – Howl was probably too selfish, wallowing in self-pity to make anything for Markl to eat. She stood up and made her way to the door. The bottom of it seemed to be oozing some sort of green slime and Sophie immediately knew what it meant.

She opened the door slowly – a male body slopped by her feet, surrounding her in the slime. She grunted at the figure. "You're so childish sometimes!!" she screamed but reluctantly bent down to pick him up.

Howl, even though he was not speaking, was mentally cursing him for making him unhappy again. How did he always manage to do this?

Markl had cleaned him up once again and helped him to his bed while Sophie poured him a glass of milk, which she knew he wouldn't drink but it was worth a try. Entering the room, Sophie saw Howl staring straight up in self-pity. She sighed. She knew it wasn't his fault but his arrogance got annoying sometimes – being so headstrong would just lead him to disaster one day. "How are you feeling?" she asked rather emotionlessly.

"Terrible…" he moaned. _What a typical reply. He can't just say 'fine' like he didn't want anyone to worry._ Sophie thought to herself. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm just not very good with words."

Sophie didn't say anything, just lay the glass of milk on the table and turned to leave.

"Sophie… Wait."

She stopped but didn't face him. "What do you want?" she asked, unintentionally coldly.

Howl flinched. "… I… I'll show you how to do magic, if you still want. I only want you to be happy…"

She grimaced. "You thought id be happy killing an unborn child? Are you really that heartless?"

He stared at her, hurt. How many times today has he upset her? He sat himself upright and sighed. "I'm sorry. I just want to forget all about this argument… don't you agree? I'll show you how to do whatever you want with magic."

Sophie regarded him before allowing her face to soften. She threw her arms around Howl tightly. "Thank you, Howl!" she screamed. Howl sighed and smiled with relief, returning the hug warmly. His arms locked tighter as he smiled smugly at himself. _Heh… I knew she could never stay mad at me!_ He thought to himself.

Sophie suddenly pulled herself away. "Ah! I forgot all about Markl! He hasn't eaten a thing!!" she ran out of the room, just like her old self again. _My Sophie!_ He relaxed into his pillow, yawning like he'd been working all day.

"Is Howl okay, Sophie?" Markl asked, happily digging away at his food.

Sophie smiled. "Of course. You know what he's like, making a big fuss over nothing!"

"I don't know, Sophie," Calcifer said, looking up at her innocently. "He's change a lot since you came along."

She inwardly sighed. "I know, I know, he's more caring and-"

"Caring? No, of course not!" Calcifer laughed. "I meant that he's even more mischievous than ever! You remember when he used you to try and get out of that war?"

Markl polished off his plate and took it to the sink, not intending to clean it up himself. He'd obviously been living with Howl far too long. He looked back at Sophie and had a puppy-dog expression. "But you still love him, don't you, Sophie?" he asked. "If you don't, we won't be like a proper family anymore coz you two wouldn't be like the mom and dad!"

Calficer grinned and mumbled. "More like divorced parents that somehow have kids and that were never married in the first place and have never even had…" Sophie shot him a death glare but he innocently stuck a chunk of wood in his mouth and laughed nervously. As soon as she stopped looking at him he muttered. "… Or at least, not that I know of…"

"SOPHIE!" Howl cried, making them all jump in shock.

"Coming, Howl!" she called.

"Ugh, Sophie, tell Howl that if he wants to do that sort of stuff, leave it until night when Markl's asleep!" the flame moaned while Sophie hurried up the stairs.

Markl looked at him naively. "What sort of stuff? Why can't I know?"

Calficer sighed. "Kid, I think you're finally ready to know about the 'facts of life'…"

-star- -star- -star-

Howl was still lying in his bed. Sophie slowly entered and sat beside him. "Yes, Howl?" she said, almost in a whisper.

Howl leapt out, grabbing her into his arms tightly. Sophie gasped and tried to push away at first but quickly grew to tolerate how close he was. Howl's arms locked her own so she couldn't even return the embrace. "Howl… w-what are you…?"

"Isn't this what you want…?" he answered before being given the question fully. "Just keep still," he ordered.

Sophie did as was told as waited. For a moment, all he seemed to be doing was hugging her – that is, until she suddenly felt very cold. A glow came from his hands as he tightened his grip. Sophie was getting scared now and began to tremble with fear and shiver with the temperature drop within her. Slowly, the glowing faded away. Howl pulled back, holding the girl at arm's length. "Are you alright?" he asked.

She said nothing for a moment, trying to piece together what he had just done to her. "Wh… what happened…?"

Howl side-smiled. "You just need to learn a few spells now, that's all."

Sophie looked down at her hands. They looked exactly the same, but they felt lighter like they were filled with helium. Yet, she wasn't sure if that was what she was because of the shock or it's the effects of transferring magic. "s-so… I – I can really… do magic?"

Howl nodded before finding himself thrown back onto the pillow with two skinny arms cutting off the circulation in his neck. "I love you, Howl!" she screamed. At first, he didn't reply. Sophie began to worry… until she remembered that it might be a lot easier for him t speak if he could breath. She quickly released him.

He took in a long gasp before struggling to maintain his usual breathing patterns. He rubbed his neck, turning to the girl with a seriously cold look on his face. "just don't take it for granted like I did, is that clear?"


	4. Chapter 4

The witch of the west and that weird dog have no part in my story, just so you know.

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The two walked downstairs, Sophie looking like she'd never been happier. She'd even gotten Howl to hold her hand, which he _eventually_ agreed to. At the bottom of the stairs, they heard the last of Calcifer and Markl's little conversation.

"… And that's how happy families are born!" Calcifer grinned.

Markl looked utterly disturbed, eyes widened at the flame.

"Markl," Howl said. "It's really late. You should go to bed."

The boy pulled a face of terror/disgust as he noticed how cheerful Sophie looked, saw them holding hands and heard Howl's request then put two and two together... and got five. "You're sick! You're all _sick_!" he ran upstairs, avoiding the couple.

They exchanges looks after the door of Markl's room had slammed shut. They both narrowed their eyes at the burning fire. Calcifer pretended not to notice, playing with what was left of his log. "You can't blame me for anything. If you two hadn't have gone up alone, our conversation would never have started."

Howl tried to hide a grin, mentally agreeing with the fire.

"Howl!" Sophie yelled at him, after seeing his expression. "We didn't do anything!"

"Yet, Sophie," he replied with a smug look on his face.

She death glared at him, but wasn't able to stop herself from blushing. She decided to change the subject. "S-so, when are you going to teach me magic?"

"Me? Teach?" he laughed. "You've got to be joking. I've got a spell book for beginners somewhere – you didn't clear it away, did you?"

"I thought it was Markl's so I put it up in his room."

"Don't be silly, Sophie! He's far too advanced for that sort of stuff!" he said, not realising how offensive he sounded. "Actually, that's the book he learnt to morph from. It comes in handy."

Sophie had a look in her eyes that neither of the boys could figure out since they'd never seen it on her before. She went quickly to Markl's room to search for it. Calcifer looked at Howl. "You taught her _magic_? I'm not sure that's such a good idea."

"Of course it is. It's _my_ idea, after all."

"Is it?"

"Well… not exactly. But that's irrelevant. Sophie's happy, and that's all that matters."

After finally convincing Markl that she wasn't going to do anything with Howl and that what Calcifer said was just a lie, Sophie finally managed to get the book. It was dusty. She could've sworn she'd cleaned it recently. She shrugged and headed back to her room. On the way down, she said goodnight to Howl and the flame before entering her room. It wasn't long until everyone was asleep when she got the book out again. She laid it on her bed as she kneeled beside it. Sophie wiped away the last of the dust before carefully lifting it open, skimming through the pages, trying to find a particular spell.

"Aha!" she said victoriously, making sure no one heard her. She'd reached the page she wanted – the incantation on it looked pretty ordinary. Not like she'd expected with big complicated words not in English. They were in perfect English and they weren't complicated at all; then she thought that may be because it's more of a beginners spell book.

Sophie read what she should do and sat in front of a mirror and began…

-star- -star- -star-

Markl awoke the next morning and ran downstairs, expecting Sophie to have made breakfast. She wasn't there. Howl was still asleep and Calcifer looked bored to tears. "Where's Sophie?"

He shrugged, playing with the ashes beneath him. "She hasn't cleaned this place up in days now…" he complained.

Markl knocked on the door of Sophie's room. "Sophie?" he called gently. "Are you awake?"

"Yes," she replied simply.

"Um… could you make us breakfast?"

"I could."

"… Will you?"

"Not right now, Markl. Get Howl for me," she requested.

The boy was slightly disappointed. He was hungry but didn't want to push her to make him something to eat. So Markl ran up to Howl's room – the quicker he did as he was told, the quicker he could start eating. Howl groaned as the knocking woke him up. "What?" he whined through the door.

"Sophie wants to see you," Markl replied.

Howl sighed, crawling out from under his bed covers – his hair was a total mess, his eyes were only half open – in fact, only one of his eyes were half-open, the other was still asleep. He stumbled down the stairs wearing only white satin pants. He almost fell back to sleep on Sophie's door he was that tired. "Sophie…? Did you call for me?"

"Howl," she called. "Come in and close the door. I have a surprise for you…"

He instantly smiled devilishly, the sleep in him turning to nothing more than a distant memory. "Coming!" He shot the door open and stared at her, almost forgetting to breathe. "Sophie… what have you done…?"

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Short, I know. Just getting through the basics…


	5. Chapter 5

"Do you like it?" she asked him.

Howl continued to stare at Sophie… at least, he thought it was Sophie. This girl stood in the middle of Sophie's room, smiling seductively at him. Her softly curled blonde hair hung over her shoulders and spiralled at the ends. She had deep blue eyes and a delicate complexion to match. Her lips were perfectly shaped and her facial structure was smooth, almost perfect. But it wasn't just her face – her entire body was different. Her waist had become smaller and her chest slightly bigger, giving her perfect curves. "Howl?"

"Who are you?" he said, still in shock.

She smiled, approaching him and wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'm Sophie, silly!"

He continued to stare in amazement at her. She did look beautiful. But it wasn't Sophie. "What've you done?" he asked.

"Excuse me?"

"What've you done?" he repeated.

Sophie pushed herself against his bare chest, snaking her arms around his neck. "I thought you'd be happy, Howl. I'm beautiful now-"

"Answer my question, Sophie; what've you done?" he demanded, his voice cold and deadly.

She released him and shrugged. "I used that spell book to learn how to change myself for you."

_For you_, the words circled his head. How could she change herself for him? What was she thinking? Had he said something to make her feel bad about herself?

_Knock, knock_… "Howl? Sophie? Is everything okay?" Markl asked, pressing an ear against the door.

"Best leave them alone for now, Markl," Calcifer warned. "They're having fun alone."

"_Calcifer_!" Howl barked through the door. Sophie pulled his head close to her lips, making sure he couldn't easily free. "Sophie!" he protested, but that was about all he could manage for now. _What's wrong with her? Sophie's usually the one to shout at Calcifer for saying things like that. Why is she suddenly being so forward? This isn't my Sophie anymore…_ he thought to himself, finally ripping her arms off of him and pushing her away. Howl grimaced to himself and left the room. Sophie watched him leave in confusion but shrugged, sitting in front of the mirror to fix her hair – though there wasn't really anything to fix about it.

Howl was grabbing all the ingredients from the table aggressively, still thinking of what Sophie had done. He snatched a frying pan from the cupboard, slammed it onto Calcifer and threw in the eggs, not caring how much of it spilt over the side. "Master Howl?" Calcifer asked. "What happened? What did she do? Wasn't she any good-?"

"Shut up," Howl growled, harshly. This was all his fault. He'd done something wrong. He upset Sophie enough to make her change her entire appearance for him. The kitchen table was stacked with dirty dishes; Calcifer was gathering quite a lot of ash and a load of book and bottles had fallen onto the floor but Sophie hadn't bothered to clean it up. What was she becoming?

"Howl?" Markl said.

"_What_?" he spat in reply.

"Um…" the boy began, unsure whether or not he should just be quiet. "… Is Sophie okay?"

"No – she's not okay. She's not even Sophie, anymore."

Markl gasped, glancing over at the door of her room. What did he mean by that? He ran over to the room. "Sophie? Are you okay?" he said, worriedly.

"Come in, Markl – I'm fine."

Markl slowly pushed the door open, creating a small creak, and stared in amazement. Who was this? "S-Sophie?" he asked.

"Yes?"

_Is this really who I think it is?_ He asked himself. It had to be – she sounded like Sophie, just didn't look like her… _what_? "Is something wrong, Markl?" she asked him.

Markl quickly shook his head and ran out, shutting the door behind him. He rushed over to Howl in fear. "Who is that?!"

Howl shrugged, scooping the food into a plate and slamming it onto the table, throwing the hot pan directly into the sink before marching up to his room. Calcifer looked at the disturbed Markl. "So… what did Sophie do?"

"There's a strange woman in there! I couldn't see Sophie anywhere!"

Calcifer gasped, knowing exactly what was going on. "Master Howl! How could you cheat on Sophie?!"

"Cheating?" Sophie stepped out of her room.

"And this is her?! Sophie is much better!" the flame continued.

She smiled at him. "It's me, Calcifer – Sophie!" she said, turning around for them to see what she'd done. "I used magic to make myself beautiful!"

Markl and Calcifer didn't know what to say. _This_ was to be the new Sophie?

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This is my Christmas present to you all! Sorry, it's short and took me a long time to get up here but hey! It's the thought that counts, right? I know… that sooo doesn't apply to writing…


	6. Chapter 6

Yes, the house looked more like a junkyard. It hadn't been cleaned it days and probably wasn't going to be. But what Calcifer didn't understand was why Howl, Sophie or even Markl didn't bother using a little bit of magic to at least clean him out. Howl was in his room, sulking like he had been for the past two days. He wasn't even getting any sleep and he hadn't eaten at all. The came a knock at the door and, for a moment, all he did was groan. When it came again he yelled: "_go away_!" he knew it was Sophie and he didn't want to see her.

Sophie ignored his comment and entered anyway, smiling at Howl mischievously. He just scowled and repeated his words, turning his back on her and hiding under the bedcovers. She pouted and approached him, leaning on his left arm since he was situated on his right. She pulled the cover from his face and planted a teasing kiss on his cheek. "What's wrong, Howl?" she asked.

"Go away," he stated. He couldn't deny that he liked the kiss but he wouldn't let Sophie know that. "I don't want to… I don't want to see anyone." He couldn't bring himself to say _you_ because he knew his Sophie was in there somewhere and he didn't want to hurt her. _His Sophie_. Somehow he'd given himself the impression that Sophie belonged to him.

"But you still want to see me, right? The beautiful Sophie?" he cuddled him tighter and granted him a second kiss. "I love you, Howl." Even her voice was different. Usually, Howl would've smothered Sophie with kisses and repeated those three words to her, too, but this wasn't Sophie.

He snatched his arm away from her harshly. Sophie wasn't about to give up; she pulled his left shoulder so that he was now lying flat on his bed and pinned him down. He didn't have any energy to resist since he hadn't eaten or so long. Howl just frowned at her but Sophie swung an enhanced leg over him so that she was now sitting on top of him. She smiled and leant forward, connecting their lips. Howl had to admit that it was nice – this Sophie was gorgeous - but he kept mentally convincing himself that it would be much better if Sophie was how she used to be. He tried to make her get off of him but this Sophie wasn't going to be easy to control.

Howl finally managed to pull his mouth away from hers, gasping. "Fuck, Sophie! Get off!" he yelled. Yet, part of his mind wanted this and that part was starting to take over. _Sophie, if you're still there_, he thought, _please forgive me. I can't stop myself…_

-star- -star- -star-

Downstairs, Markl sat at the table, picking at a loaf of bread that had already gone stale. He was trying to figure out how he could make it slightly more interesting but that was beyond even magic. He yawned but the yawn was disturbed, leaving him with his mouth fully open, by Howl's shout. He looked up in the direction it had travelled from. "Calcifer, do you think Howl's alright?" Markl asked.

The flame only heard the beginning of the cry and tried desperately to conceal his giggles. "well, you see, kid… um… they're, um… h-having a pillow fight!" he said, scoffing down a log so he did not burst into a laughing fit, which made him wonder if the log would come out of his nose if he did laugh. (A/N: actually, that was my thought… I've just realized that Calcifer doesn't' have a nose. Oh well.)

Markl looked up to Howl's room for a little while. He titled his head, listening carefully. "It sounds like Sophie's winning."

Calcifer snorted with the effort to keep from laughing out loud so he was doing it silently, making it hard to breathe. Markl looked at him awkwardly. "What?"

He tried to control himself and regain his usual breathing patterns. "Markl, I really don't think Howl minds!" with that, the giggles within him exploded.

-star- -star- -star-

Howl awoke the next morning, completely dazed. He tried to raise his right hand to rub his forehead but found that he couldn't lift his arm. Sophie was sleeping on it with her head resting on his bare chest, her hair flowing perfectly behind her. Too perfectly. Howl dropped his head back down, cursing himself for what he had done. He felt as if he was cheating on the real Sophie. Slowly, he eased his arm free and gently rest Sophie's head on the pillow. He got up, put his pants on and made his way downstairs. Calcifer was still asleep which meant that it was still very early. Howl didn't care, though. All that went through his mind was that how stupid he was. the anger in his was building until it coil his hand into a fist and Howl swung it to the nearest wall, which happened to be beside Sophie's room. It created a gaping hole.

Calcifer instantly woke up, a wry smile growing at the sight of his master. "Sounded like _someone_ was having fun," he said.

He frowned. "Yeah, _someone_ was, but it sure as hell wasn't me." He shut his eyes and let out a very deep sigh. He marched to the door and turned the dial to the colour black, growing his dark wings.

"M-master Howl! What are you doing?!" Calcifer asked, eyes widening.

"If any asks," he told the flame. "Tell them I have to go to a meeting, is that clear?"

Calcifer was going to nod but before he could, Howl had jumped out and was already gliding. Just as soon as he had gone, he heard footsteps from the top of the stairs before Sophie emerged, holding only a blanket to cover her. "Calcifer? Where's Howl?" she asked. "I woke up and he was gone."

"Uh…" he still wasn't used to this new Sophie and found it hard to remember what Howl had told him to say. "… He, uh… h-had to meet someone, I think." It was only after the words left him that he realized that she may take it the wrong way.

"Meet someone? Who? Why?"

"Oh – not a girl! Honest! He loves you, Sophie!"

Sophie sighed, a dreamy smile creeping to her lips as she leant on the banister, thinking of him. "Of course… I knew he'd love this…" without saying anything else, she rushed back upstairs to get dressed.

Calcifer watched as she left with a very awkward look. For some strange reason, she reminded him of how Howl used to be. Okay, still is. But this was strange for Sophie – she was supposed to be the modest one but now… now she was just as bad as Howl. He shrugged, reaching for another log. No one had bothered to give any to him so he had to try to do it for himself. Well, he outstretched his arm and that's as far as he'd planned. He was just hoping the rest would come together on its own. So far it wasn't working as well as he'd hoped.

Markl yawned, rubbing his eyes as he travelled downstairs very drowsily. "Hey, kid," Calcifer said. "You alright?"

"No," he mumbled. "I didn't get much sleep last night. Howl and Sophie were making too much noise."

Usually, the flame would've burst out into laughter but he knew this was serious now. Sophie was getting too headstrong and unreliable, Howl was being moody and Markl was suffering for it. Plus, Calcifer was still doing all the work. Sophie ran down to her room, still clutching the blanket to herself. She slammed the door behind her and, less than a minute later, she emerged again carrying a bag with her. "Calcifer, would you heat up the bath for me?" she asked, rushing up to the bathroom.

He groaned. There was a burning desire to shout a few curses at her but knew that it wouldn't be good while Markl was still around. He just mumbled a few things about her becoming a lazy so and so. "Markl, you hungry?"

Markl nodded. He had sat down and tried to sleep on the table. He was muttering something but Calcifer couldn't quite tell what. The flame sighed feeling helpless for the boy. "Don't worry, kid. Everything will be back to normal soon, okay? It won't be long until Sophie's back to her old self." Though he found it hard to believe even himself in this situation. Things weren't looking good and he knew it. "Oh, by the way, could you pass me a log, please?" he asked as nicely as possible.

The boy smiled at him and got up to hand him the piece of wood. "Calcifer, you're running out of logs. Isn't Sophie going to get you some more? Or Howl?"

Calcifer shrugged, taking it from his hands. Howl was far too angry to get anything done. Sophie was too busy trying to look her best to even care anymore. They could both hear the hot water run upstairs and the splash of her getting into the bath. Markl grunted. "I don't like this new Sophie. She's horrible."

"It'll be alright. This can't possibly-"

The door burst open and a Howl with wings trudged in, slamming the door shut behind him. He didn't say anything as he walked up the dusty stairs, grabbing a chair and dropping himself in it. His feathers had trailed behind him in a line, showing his wavering path. He slowly merged himself back to his human form and threw his head back in a deep sigh. Howl's ears suddenly picked up the sound of the bath running, making him immediately sit upright. "Who's in the bath?"

"Um… that would be Sophie," the flame answered as if he was afraid of his reaction. The running water sounds suddenly stopped and drenched footsteps could be heard hurrying out of the bathroom, dripping water all the way.

Sophie stood at the top of the stairs yet again, this time wearing a new white silk robe. Very short at that – the top half was fine but it didn't even reach the end of her newly shaped thighs. He skin seemed to shine because she was still wet and her hair looked positively divine shimmering in Calcifer's ruby light. "Where'd you get that robe from?" Howl asked her, still not believing Sophie would wear anything that didn't cover her ankles. She may as well have come out naked since only part of her was covered and the parts that were clung to the silk.

She smiled. "I changed one of the old dresses you got me. Isn't it wonderful?"

Howl grimaced. "What was wrong with the dressed I got you?" the robe she was wearing, to him, made her look like a prostitute.

"Oh… uh… no offence, Howl, but they've gotten a little old fashioned." Sophie said as if it didn't matter. But it did – Howl was actually hurt and covered it up with anger.

"They were the kind you used to love!" he began to yell.

"_Used_ to. But this is the new me. No more boring Sophie."

------------------------------------------

I had nothing better to do than write. I really need to get a social life.

Ah, well. Review if you like, flame if you don't. Hugs and kisses all around!


	7. Chapter 7

It had been nearly a month and the house looked like Sophie had never been here to clean it. All she did was stay in her room trying to make herself look better. Calcifer had never seen Howl so depressed and Markl had definitely lost weight. Things just seemed to be getting worse and worse. It was early in the morning and Howl was sauntering aimlessly down the stairs. "Calcifer, heat up some water. I can't stand anymore of Sophie's nonsense – it's driving me crazy! I'm not even sure I care for her anymore…"

"Well…" the flame shrugged. "She _was_ doing this for you, remember? Because you didn't want to have kids, right?"

"That's not it, Calcifer… it's not that I don't want kids with Sophie; I just don't want kids, _period_."

"Markl's a kid."

"Markl doesn't crap in his pants and expect us to clean it up." Howl rubbed his forehead and went back upstairs to the bathroom. "Is the water warm yet?"

"Yes," Calcifer replied, suddenly hearing a door slam shut. Then Howl yelled Sophie's name and told her to get out of the bathroom. "She beat you to it?" the flame called, smiling. Howl growled loudly in frustration. He was always bad at hiding his emotions.

He stomped downstairs and dropped himself in the chair, cursing under his breath. There was no denying that Howl was thoroughly pissed off now. Calcifer sighed deeply. "Master Howl, I know Sophie's been acting differently and all but… I don't know, maybe you could try to be a little bit more understanding. You know she has… well, _had_ a low self-esteem. To be honest, it's partly your fault that she's like this."

Howl death glared at the flame. "My fault?" his voice was murderous. "You can't pin the blame on me for Sophie becoming a-!"

"Calcifer?" Markl yawned from the top of the stairs. "Howl's making too much noise – it woke me up."

"And now you're disturbing Markl's sleep, master Howl. Really, he's a growing boy and he needs his rest!"

Howl abruptly stood up, face full of fury. "That's right, it's all my fault!" he yelled. "Blame the guy that didn't do anything!"

_You did Sophie enough…_ Calcifer mentally argued. Sophie soon emerged from the bathroom at the top of the stairs, a hand on her forehead. Everyone stared at her for a moment before she finally spoke. "Howl…" her voice sounded like she was recovering from a hangover. "I feel dizzy…" she said. It wasn't even clear to her why she was standing at the top of the stairs in her condition but for the moment, nothing made sense. She'd suddenly forgotten everything and heard nothing but Howl's voice shouting her name. And then, she felt nothing but Howl's arms wrapped around her protectively. "Howl…" she managed one last time before everything went blank. 

-star- -star- -star-

Sophie's vision slowly swam into focus. She could only just make out the figures of Markl and Howl sitting beside her. She was lying on the floor of the main room, oblivious to everything. "W… what happened?"

Howl's expression was frantic. "You fainted, that's what! Haven't you been eating properly? Did you hit your head?"

Sophie let out an uncaring sigh and sat up. "I didn't hit myself, did I?" she asked.

"No," Howl answered. "I caught you before you hit anything. What happened?"

She shook her head and made an attempt to stand but found herself stumbling backwards. Luckily, Howl caught her before she hit the ground. Sophie's eyelids were dropping again. "Sophie," Howl said before she fell asleep again. "Please – tell me what happened?"

She groaned and rubbed her eyes but could not fight the exhaustion she felt. "Please, Howl… take me to my bed…" she mumbled finally letting go of consciousness. Howl looked at her for a long while before finally exhaling deeply and carrying her to her room.

"Markl," he called. "Get a damp cloth and a bowl of water."

Calcifer had a smug grin on his face. "I thought you said you didn't care about her anymore?"

Howl paused. He'd forgotten about that. "Fine – I was wrong. She may be disguised a selfish whore but…" he sighed deeply, closing his eyes and bringing her closer to his chest. "But my Sophie is still there. I don't know where but she is." With that, he went into Sophie's room without another word. The flame continued to smile to himself, suddenly feeling superior after getting his master to admit he was wrong.

Markl entered Sophie's room, carrying the bowl full of water with a cloth. Sophie looked like she was only half conscious but still sitting upright on her bed with Howl sitting on the chair beside her. "are you alight now, Sophie?" he asked (for the seventh time that minute.

Sophie nodded vaguely. "Howl," she croaked. "I have something to tell you."

"what is it?" he said as Markl put the bowl down on a table beside Howl. 

-star- -star- -star-

"_WHAT_?" 

Markl stumbled out of Sophie's room, gasping in fear.

"what is it, kid?" Calcifer asked him.

Markl tried to catch his breath again. "it's Sophie…" he managed. "she's going to have a baby…"

-------------------------------

alright, so now Sophie's pregnant - DUNDUNDUN!

So review and tell me what you think:)


	8. Chapter 8

"Sophie, what the hell were you thinking? Why would you let yourself get pregnant?" Howl yelled at her, standing up abruptly.

Sophie frowned. "I wouldn't have done it without your help," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

His eyes narrowed at her in anger. "You knew this would happen, didn't you?" he said, almost in a low growl. "If you really wanted a baby, all you had to do was ask me. Right now we're in no position to take care of a child! The house is a mess and there's only just enough food to go around! We don't even have any space! How could you be so stupid?!"

Sophie's mouth fell open at him, and then her face suddenly screwed up with rage as she threw her hand at Howl's face. "You're the one that didn't want a baby in the first place so I made myself beautiful so you would. But it hasn't worked, has it? Don't you get it, Howl? Now our child will be beautiful."

Howl was silent for a moment. He had thought only changed herself for the sake of looking good. But what she didn't understand was that he didn't want a baby anyway – now that's too late! It had crossed his mind dozens of times to undo the spell but Howl didn't want to change her back if he knew that she wouldn't be happy about it. It was a hard decision – he wanted Sophie to be happy, but now he, Markl and Calcifer were suffering for it. Howl sighed and leaned down towards her. "I'm sorry, Sophie," he said, kissing her on the forehead. "I didn't mean to upset you." He brought his hand up to stroke her cheek before kissing her on the lips.

Before Sophie could even realize it, he had picked her up and placed her on his lap, cradling her in his arms. Sophie laid her head gently on his chest, sighing with satisfaction. One thing confused her, though: his heart seemed to be racing. He hugged him tighter as his hand moved over their baby. "It's strange to think we've created a person, don't you think?" she asked.

At that, Howl seemed to hesitate touching her stomach. "I know," he said simply. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?" she suddenly gasped. Howl had added pressure onto her, onto the baby, forming a bright glow from it. She couldn't speak with the shock but could feel tears staining her cheeks.

The glow soon died down and Sophie instantly jumped away from Howl, who stood up slowly. Sophie felt her stomach – it was strangely _empty_. She'd lost something, some_one_. She hiccupped. "Howl…" her voice quivered. "Please… tell me you – you didn't…" she couldn't even finish her sentence, knowing the words would break her heart.

Howl looked both guilty and solemn. "I said I was sorry," he said in a monotone. "I had to do it. You're not Sophie. That wasn't Sophie's child. That baby wasn't made with love, and I couldn't allow it to be brought into this world-"

"So you killed it?!" she screamed, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed to stand up. "And you're calling me stupid?! What kind of cold hearted person are you?!" Howl tried to ignore her and didn't answer. He knew that what he had done was the right thing but couldn't help regretting it. "Howl! Why did you kill the baby?!"

"The same reason you killed my Sophie!"

"I _am_ Sophie!" she screamed at him.

"No, you're not!" he stopped to try and lower his voice. He sighed deeply and looked her straight in the eye. "I love Sophie. You're not Sophie because I have no feelings for you."

She grimaced and glared at him, still angry. How dare he say that? "I changed for the better, Howl." With that, she turned away and climbed back into her bed, hiding herself completely in the blanket. It looked like she was trying to shut herself away from everyone. But Howl knew that she had no motherly love for that baby. It was just there – like an accessory. If she could no longer look after Markl, she'd never be able take care of a baby of her own.

Howl turned towards the door but before he left, he turned back towards her. "If that's what you think, then I killed that child for the better." And he went. As he shut the door behind him, Howl fell against it and fell to the ground, burying his head in his hands. _I'm such a bad person_, he kept repeating to himself. He ignored Calcifer and Markl – not purposely. His mind felt clogged up with all these emotions; he'd felt all of them lots of times before but never this strongly. Now he didn't think he could concentrate on anything at all. "Master Howl," Calcifer said, though Howl was only vaguely aware of anyone else around him. "Is everything okay with you and Sophie? What was all the shouting about?"

"The baby," he answered subconsciously in a monotone. He kept staring at the ground like it wasn't even him that answered. "It's dead."

Markl and Calcifer stared at him for a moment, unsure if they'd heard him correctly. The baby was dead already? "How do you know that?" Markl asked.

Calcifer knew exactly why it was dead. "Kid," he said quickly. "Master Howl is tired and doesn't want to-"

"I killed it."

Markl blinked for a minute; he was sure he had felt his heart stop. Why would Howl kill a child? Was it an accident? Without him realizing it, his eyes had welled up and began to spill down his cheeks. Howl's heart dropped as he glanced up to see Markl's face. He didn't want to see it and scowled, suddenly storming upstairs. He slammed his bedroom door shut, making the two downstairs flinch. "Calcifer," Markl said. "Does that make Howl a murderer?"

The flame paused. He knew Howl only would've done it for a good reason – does that change the fact that he killed someone? He sighed. "I don't know. I really don't know."

Ugh, I know – it's incredibly short! But dramatic, right? RIGHT?!

So if you have any suggestions on how I could improve (excluding that I should write more -.-;;) or if you just want to be nice and review, go ahead :) no complaints here!


	9. Chapter 9

This is as soon as the movie is over…

Howl sat at the table, staring blankly into space. He'd been like that for a few hours now. He was listening to the sound of Sophie's weeps fly through the door and stab him in the heart. Every so often he'd ask himself if he'd actually done the right thing. Markl stood close to Calcifer. The house felt suddenly cold, making him shiver. "Calcifer," the boy said, his voice small and worried. "I want things to be back to normal. I want Howl and Sophie back."

The flame gave him a sympathetic look but wasn't quite sure how to answer him. He knew very well that things wouldn't be back to normal for a while but couldn't tell Markl; he was upset enough as it was. "Listen, kid," he would've patted him shoulder if it wasn't going to burn him. "Don't let it get you down. I'm sure master Howl and Sophie will be okay eventually."

Markl looked at Sophie's door. Howl wasn't the only one being torn apart by the sound. He hesitantly approached the room and brought up a trembling hand to knock on the door. She didn't bother answering and continued to cry. "Sophie," Markl called. "Can I come in?"

There was still no reply so he slowly entered. Sophie was lying on her bed with a pillow over her head and the blanket over her body. "Are you alright, Sophie?" Markl asked as she withdrew from the pillow. Her eyes were swollen and tomato red. Her cheeks, though they still looked beautiful and plump, were pink and stained with tears. Sophie took the end of the blanket and used it to mop up her tears. There was really no point because all she did was cry again.

The boy stared at her and wanted to cry for her sake. He looked to the floor and sighed, moving over to kneel down beside the bed. "I'm sorry for what Howl did, Sophie," he tried but his voice sounded like it was afraid of upsetting her even more.

Sophie hiccupped. "I don't see how he could be so selfish…"

At the back of Markl's mind, he knew that Sophie was the one being selfish but he didn't dare acknowledge those thoughts. He wanted the old Sophie back and tell her that certainly would not help. "He can't help it," he told her. "It's just the way he is. No one should have to change themselves," he said, hoping she'd get the hint and realize that she'd made a mistake.

"That doesn't give him an excuse to kill my child!" she said, her voice rising.

He blinked in confusion. Normally the old Sophie wouldn't shout at him for anything but he'd forgotten – this wasn't the old Sophie. "I… I'm sorry, Sophie." Sophie just turned her head away with a look of disgust, not noticing how worried the child was. "I just came to see if you were okay…"

"Do I look okay?!" she screamed.

Markl almost fell onto his back in shock. He quickly stood up, afraid of her sudden anger, and rushed out, closing the door behind him. Howl was no longer there – he'd gone out absentmindedly without telling the flame where he was going. Markl ran to Calcifer, tears coating his eyes. "Kid, what is it?"

"I don't like her…" he gasped, desperately trying to hold back his tears. "She's horrible…"

"Calm down, Markl!" Calcifer urged, unsure of how else to comfort him. "It's going to be alright, I promise!"

He shook his head slowly. He didn't believe this mess could ever be fixed. "Nothing's going to be normal now… I wish Sophie had never been here in the first place!" he shouted before bolting up the stairs to his room and slamming the door shut.

Calcifer sighed helplessly and pulled a log into his mouth for comfort. To keep him mind occupied, he counted the spiders on the ceiling that never would have been there if the old Sophie… no, he had to use something to distract himself. He decided to play on memories, like the time Howl was going through his first break-up. He kept repeating that he'd never find anyone else worthy of his beauty but then he found… no – that memory includes Sophie, too.

He groaned; this wasn't going to be easy.

After about half an hour of him trying and failing to distract himself, he gave up. The door had clicked open and he looked up to see that it was Sophie's. Calcifer sighed; he was hoping that she'd be back to normal by now but no, she still had the same bouncy blonde hair and unnaturally curvy figure. It was getting a little annoying. "Where's Howl?" she asked.

Calcifer didn't even want to look at her anymore so he turned away, drawing his attention on the ashes around him. "Out," he said simply.

"Out _where_?" she said, quickly frustrated.

He rolled his eyes. "Why do you care?"

She huffed and shook her head, swaggering to the table of food. She was hungry and tried to find something decent to eat. The cheese was covered in flies, the flies were being eaten by spiders and the spiders seemed to be settling in cozily. Rats had gnawed away at the stale bread which even they didn't seem to find very appetizing. To top that all off, ant had practically formed several queues to the dinner table as if it were a buffet.

Sophie cringed at the sight. There was nothing that looked like it had _ever_ been remotely edible. "Is there no decent food anymore?" she said.

Calcifer, who had been staring at her in satisfaction, shrugged. "Don't you remember? It was always either you or Howl that got the food."

"Well, why doesn't Markl do it, then?"

"In case you haven't noticed, Howl hasn't been himself lately and we're flat broke. No money, no food." The flame was trying his best to make her realize the impact she'd had on the family. He tried to find something else to focus her attention on. "Oh, there may be some bacon left over by the dishes. You could have that."

Sophie sighed in exasperation and made her way over to the dishes, gasping when she got there. "Calcifer, this stuff is absolutely _filthy_!"

Once again the flame shrugged as if he hadn't really noticed it before. "Really? Oh, it's was never usually like that. I wonder how that suddenly happened?" he to wonder if he was hinting a little too much but hen decided he didn't care if he was, as long as she was getting the picture. "I guess you could always ask Howl to magic them clean… no, wait, I forgot – he left and gave no indication that he's coming home anytime soon."

After getting over her disgust, Sophie regarded him with confusion. "What in the world is going on around here? Where's Markl?"

Calcifer shrugged. "Crying," he said as if it was no big deal.

"Why?"

"_Why_?" he glared at her accusingly. "Don't tell me that you seriously haven't noticed! Howl has practically lost the will to live without the old Sophie! The house is a mess and Markl is afraid of you! Don't you see that you've been corrupted by fake beauty? The entire family is falling apart because of you… and you don't care at all, do you?"

Sophie stared at him in shock. She didn't know what he was talking about. Calcifer sighed in disappointment. "Remember how Howl used to be so wrapped up in his appearance? Remember how to him, everything fell apart because he didn't think he was beautiful anymore? But he got over it. He got over it because he realized that there were more important things, like his family. He found something else to care about. Why can't you do the same?"

Silence was surrounding them like a thick pool of jelly. After realizing that there was nothing she could say in her defense, Sophie sharply stormed off back into her room. She slammed the door shut behind hr in anger and stomped over to the mirror and held it in her hands. "He doesn't know what he's talking about," she whispered to herself. "He's just a flame. Water could kill him."

She smiled at herself in the mirror. Who could deny her beauty?

She stopped, blinking at the reflection. She looked at a lock of her hair to the side of her face. It was still the same golden colour… so why was the reflection's hair silver? She was smiling, so why did the reflection look at her in fear and sympathy? Why could… why could she see Sophie in the mirror?

_No_, she told herself. _I'm Sophie_. Shaking her head, she looked at the mirror again.

"Please," she saw it whisper. "Don't hurt them anymore…"

_Hurt who?_ She asked herself. _Howl? He killed my child. He's nothing but a murderer. No innocent child deserves to get hurt like that_, she convinced herself.

The reflection continued to stare. "So why are you putting Markl through it?"

Sophie froze, putting the mirror down for a moment. _She's right…_ Sophie thought. Quickly, she looked at her reflection again, only this time, it wasn't her reflection. This reflection had blonde hair and was dressed like an angel. Then she realized that this _was_ her reflection… but it wasn't Sophie. She swallowed and glanced at the book Howl had given her. The magic book that had caused of this.

She flicked through the pages as fast as she could. She couldn't stand being like this anymore. She found how to reverse the spell…

… Sophie was finally back.

\/\/\/\/

I know, you all probably hate me for not updating in such a long time… I've been on FictionPress quite a lot – how about checking out my stories… please? If you want more dramatic romances, check them out coz I simply can't write anything without a bit of drama. (My account is under the same name).

For a really dramatic romance (I mean REALLY dramatic) read Three Years Ago

For a funny romance (and dramatic) read Matchmaker Kei

For a mysterious romance read Origami

And for a complicated romance read Until Dawn

So, please check it out and please review – you can flame but don't shun! I promise I'll update faster this time!


	10. Chapter 10

This is as soon as the movie is over…

Sophie stepped out of her room and glanced at Calcifer who was playing helplessly with a log. Her heart sank as she thought about how she'd caused all of this. She shut the door with a click and Calcifer glanced over but did not smile. "So," he began. "You finally came to your senses?"

She gulped guiltily and looked down at her feet. "Uh… yes. I realized how stupid I was being. And I'm sorry for that, Calcifer…" she attempted a smile. "I don't know why I was acting like that. I guess the magic corrupted me; the same way it had happened to Howl not long ago and… and I apologize for that."

Calcifer looked at her for a moment as if studying her carefully. Then, finally, he grinned at her gratefully. "It's not me you should be saying sorry to, Sophie. I forgive you, but I think you really need to see Markl now. He's really upset."

Gasping, she remembered what she'd said to Markl earlier. How horrible she'd been to him. Sophie turned quickly and rushed up the stairs as fast as she could. Outside the door to Markl's room, she could hear him crying but trying to be silent. She swallowed and quietly pushed the door open. Markl didn't seem to hear it because he had his pillow over his head to muffle the sound. No doubt he didn't want to make Sophie shout at him again.

She bit her lip and held out a trembling hand to him. "Markl?" she whispered but didn't think it was loud enough for him to hear. "Markl?" she said again, gently laying her hand on his shoulder. She felt him hiccup slightly but stop for a second. Slowly, he removed the pillow and took a little peak.

He stared a while with swollen red eyes. "A-are you… are you really Sophie?" he asked as if he thought she was just an illusion.

Trying to make her smile seem as warm as possible, Sophie looked back at him with gleaming eyes. "Yes, Markl. It's me. And I'm so sorry for-" before she could finish what she was trying to say, Markl threw his arms around her, partly to make sure she really wasn't just an illusion and mostly because he missed her so much.

"Don't ever leave us again, Sophie! I missed you!" he said desperately, still crying into her shoulder.

Sophie quickly sat on the bed and cradled him back and forth comfortingly. She hugged him tightly, overwhelmed by guilt. Markl continued to cry. The more he cried the tighter Sophie hugged him. "Shh…" she said soothingly, laying her head against his. "It's okay, Markl… you don't have to cry anymore; I'm here. I always will be here…"

He sucked in a few more breaths and tried his best to stop his tears falling anymore. "Will everything be back to normal again?" he asked quietly.

She felt a thoughtful smile creep onto her lips. "Of course, Markl. I promise." She pulled away to look at him. "Will you do me a favor?" she asked.

Markl blinked the last of his tears away. "Okay… what?" he asked uncertainly.

"Help me clean up? And after that we'll go buy food, okay?"

The boy broke into a smile and hugged Sophie again with excitement. Things were finally going right. With her hand clasped tightly to Markl's, Sophie led the way downstairs. Calcifer was sitting there, watching the place where they came down and was grinning as if it was something he'd anticipated. "So, how's it going?" he asked happily. Then he jumped – or struggled to anyway - into the bucket with a log in it, looking at her innocently. "So, um… you wouldn't mind starting here, would you?"

Sophie laughed and picked up the bucket and set it aside. "It'd be my pleasure." But for a second, she looked around, puzzled. "But… where's Howl gone?"

The flame quickly glanced at Markl unsurely. "He's, uh… just stepped out for a second. I'm sure he'll be back soon," he smiled but his eyes were full of worry. Sophie could tell but thankfully, Markl couldn't. They couldn't tell him or he'd worry so she cleaned the house furiously to keep her mind off of things.

Plus, Sophie had a promise to keep to him. She couldn't break it so quickly.

Markl got to clearing away the old food from the table – which was basically everything that was once edible. He could've sworn he saw the odd rat scurrying behind the table but ignored it. Howl hadn't been back yet and he was beginning to worry. Markl occasionally glanced over at Sophie to see if she was being bothered by these thoughts of Howl too but she seemed to be concentrating more on the cleaning like always.

Within four hours, the entire house was spotless. Everything had that gleam to it. But Sophie was only vaguely aware of it. She was still thinking about Howl. Anything could have happened to him. And she thought that Markl wasn't aware of any of this.

They'd sat down to eat. Sophie had absentmindedly made Markl bacon since she knew it was his favorite. He ate quickly but only in search of comfort since thoughts of Howl were still haunting him. A pain in Sophie's chest kept sending blows to her heart every so often even when she wasn't thinking of Howl – he was still on her mind even though she didn't know it and it was hurting her.

Calcifer could sense the tension in the air and felt that he had to calm things down. The only thing was, he wasn't quite sure how. "Hey, guys," he said, hoping something would come to him quickly. "Uh… you've done a pretty good job. The house has never been this clean before."

Sophie could see what he was trying to do and decided to play along for Markl's sake. "Yes – we make a pretty good team, right, Markl?" she asked, hoping he wasn't thinking of Howl too.

"Yeah," he smiled trying to hide his depression. He didn't think that either of them had Howl on their minds and didn't want to bring him up. "We sure do."

"You should think about redecorating," Calcifer added, trying to keep the conversation going. "I was thinking pink for the fireplace."

The two exchanged looks and grinned as they shook their heads at him. "_Pink_?" Markl laughed. "What are you – a _girl_?"

Sophie crossed her arms in a fake huff. "Excuse me? So I suppose blue is just for boys, right?"

"Well, yeah," Markl smiled. "That's how it's always been."

"Who taught you that?" she asked.

"Howl did – he…" the boy stopped talking abruptly and stuffed a piece of bacon in his moved, mentally cursing himself for bring up Howl again when things were going so well.

The room was plunged into silence again. Sophie stared down at the floor, hoping no one else was feeling as awkward as she was. She blamed herself for asking that question – if she'd thought of something else to say, Markl and Calcifer probably wouldn't have worried – well, that's what she thought. But she couldn't just let herself forget about Howl like he wasn't even a part of the family because she knew he was and it would be wrong to just try to cover up thoughts of him. She sighed and stood up. "Calcifer – where did Howl go?"

The flame blinked at her. "Why?"

"I want to go look for him – something terrible might have happened to him." She knew she shouldn't say anything like that in front of Markl but she couldn't keep the truth from him for that long. "Where did he go?"

Calcifer thought for a moment. "Well… I don't know exactly where he is but even if I did, it'd be far too dangerous for you to go get him."

"Calcifer, I don't care. I love Howl – I won't let any sort of danger keep me from finding him. Now please, just tell me where he is…" Calcifer could see the desperation in her eyes and felt guilty.

He sighed. "Look, Sophie, I'd really love to tell you where he went but I honestly don't…" he stopped abruptly. His eyes were stuck in the same direction so he almost looked like an ornament.

Sophie and Markl stared at him for a moment, unsure what was wrong. He wasn't looking at anything in particular so they guessed he was thinking. Then the flame looked down at himself and shook his head in disbelief. "Oh no…" he muttered.

The two looked at him, expecting a reason for his sudden silence. Markl quickly noticed that something was wrong. "Calcifer, are… are you getting… smaller?"

He gulped uncertainly. "Something's definitely wrong with Howl. I can feel it."

Sophie's right eyebrow rose in confusion. "But… but I thought Howl got his heart back. How can you still…?"

"Because I'm still a part of him. I always will be. I mean, when you give someone your heart to look after it doesn't just go away as soon as you take it back. There'll always still be a connection," he explained. "But Howl is definitely in trouble."

Sophie's heart pounded hard inside of her. They didn't know where he was and was probably hurt – they couldn't do a thing. She'd never felt so useless. Markl just bit his lip, unsure what to do, unsure what to say, even what to think. It seemed to him that everyone was hurting but he was the only one that wasn't much. Calcifer was a part of Howl and knew what he was feeling, Sophie was in love with him but he was just sitting there, unable to do anything.

The door was open, smacking against the wall. They all gasped and looked in the same direction. Slowly, Howl began to emerge looking like he was sleepwalking. But he wasn't asleep – in fact he was hardly walking; his legs seemed reluctant to pull his body in.

A horrible cold chill ran up Sophie's spine. She'd been in her room feeling sorry for herself for so long that she didn't see the change in Howl. Sure, he was skinny already but now she could see the outlines of his bones. His skin was ghostly white. The way he walked made him look like a puppet on strings. He looked _dead_. Sophie bit her lip with anxiety as he dragged himself past her. He didn't look capable of acknowledging anyone so she kept quiet.

But before Howl reached the stairs, he stopped. He collapsed.

\/\/\/\/

Yes, I know it's short and took me a bloody long time to write and upload and therefore making me a moronic asshole. Love you all for not giving up on me!

Oh Yeah! First double digit chapter! WHOOT! :P


	11. Chapter 11

"Are you feeling any better?" Sophie asked.

Markl had helped her carry Howl upstairs after he'd collapsed. He seemed convinced that Howl was dead, and was still crying downstairs with only Calcifer to comfort him. Sophie was carrying a glass of warm milk. The sight of Howl so pale and fragile was painful for her to have to watch. "Howl…?"An ice-cold feeling dawned upon her as she began to fear the worst. With much difficulty, she swallowed and moved a trembling foot forward, followed by the other. She got there eventually.

Sophie gasped and tried to jump back but Howl had snatched her by the wrist. Her heart was pounding and she was drenched in a sudden cold sweat. She could hear Howl's voice, breathy and weak; she couldn't make out a single word. "S… sorry…?" she managed. Gulping down her fear and trying to revive her paralyzed body, Sophie tucked her hair behind her ear and leant in closer to him.

"Ar…" he breathed deeply after mumbling something. He tried again but his words were still interrupted with pants. "Are you… my So… Sophie…?"

Sophie was lost for words for some reason. "Uh… of – of course I'm Sophie…"

With great effort, Howl shook his head slightly. Several deep breaths. "Are… you… _my_ Sophie…?"

His icy fingers gripped tighter but heat was still radiating from his neglected body. Shivers ran up Sophie's spine. "I… I don't know. Am I?" not even she was sure anymore. Who exactly _was_ Howl's Sophie? Who did he want his Sophie to be?

A period of silence later, Howl continued. "K… kiss me… my Sophie's lips… never lie…"

Her back stiffened. She… well, to put it bluntly, she didn't want to kiss him in this state. Biting her lip, she moved the sheets away from his face slightly afraid of what she might see. Sophie silently gasped seeing Howl's ghostly white face, fading into a bluish colour around his eyes. He had beads of sweat still coating his body. She knew that if he stayed like this he would die soon.

No – she couldn't think like that. She _loved _Howl. Sophie quickly licked her lips, ignored the sight before her and leant in to connect their lips. Howl didn't respond to her touch. His lips were cold and dry. It wasn't very pleasant at all. Finally pulling away, Sophie hid her shudders and looked at him. His face hadn't changed at all. Waiting for a moment longer, she took a few deep breaths watching the covers rise and fall gently as he breathed. "Come… come down to see us if you're feeling any better, Howl. I'll tell Calcifer to heat up some water for you."

Howl gave no reply so she sighed and began leaving the room. Howl's eyes opened slightly, just so he could see the fuzzy image of Sophie walking out. It had been a long time since he'd seen that. What a sight it was, too. With a weak smile creeping up on his cracked lips, Howl allowed himself to rest…

"Calcifer," Sophie called as she came downstairs. "Could you heat up some water, please?"

"Right away," Calcifer replied and got straight to it. Sophie sat down at the table with her head in her hands. She was trembling. A breath stuck in her throat causing her to let out a hiccup finally realizing how much she needed to cry. Holding back her tears, she noticed that Markl was sitting across the table, staring at her. Had he been there the whole time? How long had he been watching for?

Sophie raised a smile for him but Markl did not return the gesture. She began to feel slightly uncomfortable. "Howl is fine, Markl. He's going to be okay – I promise."

"Are you?" he replied.

She opened her mouth to speak but her face had frozen in place when she heard what he had said. "Of… of course, Markl. Why wouldn't I be? I'm perfectly fine," she answered defensively.

Markl watched her a moment longer. "Right. Just checking." He went back to eating his supper.

Nodding, Sophie looked away still trying to figure out what he was trying to say. Suddenly they all heard the creak of the taps upstairs gushing water into the bathtub. Silence filled the room as they hadn't heard that in a while. The corners of Sophie's lips rose in relief.

Howl wore his black pants and thin white top after his bath with the towel draped around his shoulders. He still hadn't completely recovered so he was still hunching frailly. His skin was still radiating heat and would be covered in another thin layer of sweat soon enough. Even breathing seemed to burn Howl's lungs. His thin fingers feebly gripped the door handle and stepped out.

He swayed back and forth before taking a step forward and trying to regain his balance. His feet were killing. He lifted his head up to find the stairs but his vision had doubled up. Silently groaning, he grabbed the handrail with both hands and shut his eyes tight. God, how his head throbbed. Right foot… left foot… and he shakily made his way downstairs.

Markl sat at the table with his head lying in his arms, staring absentmindedly into space and listening so intently to the delicate thuds that he didn't even question where they were coming from. Thud… thud… thud, thud… loud enough to know they're there but too quiet to bother paying any attention to. His eyes wandered to the stairs catching a glimpse of a foot cautiously lowering itself to the next step and suddenly realized what the thuds actually were.

He sprang up from the chair, startling Sophie. "Howl! It's master Howl, Sophie!"

Sophie spun around and gasped as she saw him begin to waver. She rushed up, taking one of his arms and draping it over her shoulder. Markl went to help her, too, copying her actions. Howl kept his eyes cast to the ground, his hair dangling in his face and his breathing gently pushing the strands back and forth. He was sat down on a chair.

"Howl, are you feeling alright?" Sophie asked crouching down so she could look up at him. "Markl, go get a sheet."

Markl nodded and ran upstairs to his room, snatching the sheet from his bed and running back downstairs as quickly as possible. Sophie removed the towel from Howl's shoulders and replaced it with the sheet to keep his warm.

Howl swallowed and took several deep breaths. "I'm… I'm fine, Sophie," he managed. He did his best to look her in the eyes to show that he really was okay.

Sophie's lips tightened, not sure of she should believe him. She turned to the flame instead. "Calcifer?"

"Master Howl," Calcifer said. "You should be upstairs resting. You need to conserve your energy."

Slowly, Howl shook his head with a lot of effort. "No. I want to be with…" he continued breathing, "with my family." He said this turning to Markl and smiling warmly.

Markl's face lit up as he was filled with relief. He rushed up to him and threw his arms around his weak shoulders. It was painful but Howl didn't mind one bit. Soon he was released and turned towards Sophie who was also smiling. Her eyes were welling up with joy; it'd been too long since she'd last seen Howl like this – far too long. She picked herself up and planted an innocent kiss on Howl's lips. They weren't nearly as bad as before. Blushing, she removed the hair from his face and looked directly at him. "It's good to have you back, Howl."

"You, too, Sophie." He then gulped and delicately took her hands. "When I get better…"

"Sorry?" she said, not understanding.

"When I get better, Sophie," he began looking away. "If you want to, we could try again. For… for a baby, I mean. I… I think I'm ready to be a father."

Sophie watched him then glanced at Markl who looked like he really didn't know what to do with himself. With her mouth gaping, she remembered to breathe again. Sophie shook her head, thinking. "Howl… you're definitely not ready. You can barely take care of yourself." A moment of stunned silence fell in the room. "We've got plenty of time to be parents." The silence continued.

Finally, Howl had enough energy to grin. "Does that mean we can just have fun?"

Sophie blinked.

Eyes widened, Markl looked mortified.

Calcifer burst out into laughter. "Yep, it's great to have you back, master Howl!"

\/\/\/\/

… Heh… hi… uh, me again… as it turns out I'm not dead. Just lazy…

So I've finally finished the story. I really hope no one was disappointed with the ending… I think it may have been a bit of an anti-climax for some. So… anyone still love me enough to leave a review? No? Oh. Well I guess I deserved that… farewell!


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